One full Christmas

This Christmas has been so full. Full of activity and full of reflection. More than any other time, this Christmas has been difficult to nail down to one day. It began for us, I suppose, during our time in the US when we got to see and celebrate the blessing of being with family. And our time there was certainly full of EATING. It was a time of being not just full--but regretfully over-full.

But the Christmas rush certainly didn't end with our return to Nicaragua. In fact, the days immediately before and after the calendar day of Christmas were jam packed! Shipping containers of 'smile boxes' to be unloaded and distributed, church parties, dinners with friends, school events, movie nights, invitations given and received to visit with various church families--a very full time.

The days were so full that some days it was hard for me to see how full of blessing they were. Maybe you can identify. Maybe your holidays, too, sometimes get too full of events and places to be, and you find yourself longing for February when there's just a whole lot of nothing. I confess, that the lines of people stopping by and bringing a friendly greeting were wearing me out. 

And then there were just the crowds. See, the thing about being on the distribution end of any organized giving--is that somebody has to close the line. Somebody has to be the one to say, "No, sorry, no more." and that person is nobody's favorite. Some people take that news with grace and understanding. Some people are going to show their disappointment in more emotional ways. It doesn't mean people are ungrateful, or overly entitled. We've all been there, focusing on what we think we've missed instead of the mountains that we have. But it can still be a draining exchange. I could see this wearing down on Jonathan, as he longed for an exchange where "nobody asks for anything".

So, the logical thing to do in the midst of this over-fullness is to lock all the doors, put on your pj's and hide from everything and everybody, right? I was really feeling the pull to hide. I was beginning to imagine that Jonathan must know how Jesus felt when crowds kept following Him. At one point we literally had to knock on our front door to get OUT of the building, because so many people were around the door wouldn't open.  

You see, it is soooo great to get to play Santa Claus. It is a great blessing to be in the position of being able to bless others. But, bluntly--honestly--it's also not that hard to get tired of it. 

Mark 3:20

One time Jesus entered a house, and the crowds began to gather again. Soon he and his disciples couldn’t even find time to eat.

Galatians 6:9

So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up

But we didn't hide. Instead, we threw one more party. And I am so so so glad that we did. This gathering was for the "market kids" only. This is our shorthand for our neighbors, for the kids we see every day. The Mission's building sits in the very center of the market district of town, the busiest "downtown" spot in Jinotega. Lots of families make their living selling from officially sanctioned stalls, and plenty more by walking around with their store wares strapped to their body. Some of their kids attend school, some stay with them all day, but at some point during the day these kids are going to be hanging out at mom or dad's "work", which happens to be our front parking lot. So we hang out with them too. 

In Nicaragua, being called a "market seller" isn't exactly a compliment. So being a "market kid" isn't a mark of high social status either. I know this same batch of kids in South Dallas, in trailer parks, in any place that parents are spending all their time working for the elements of survival, and without time left for consistent training time with their kids. These kids are loved, but largely ignored. Wild and hungry--for dinner and for attention. 

It was the best party ever. 

There were no presents. 

It wasn't a big feast. 

The guests were muddy, rather smelly and pretty ill-behaved. 

But I have never been at a gathering where everyone was so absolutely excited to be there. 19 kids and 5 of their parents came for dinner and a movie. We shared a big pot of vegetable soup with crackers, and Jonathan shared a super brief message about friendship and glorifying God. 

And my heart was so full. 

Throughout the movie moms squealed and provided commentary, just as excited as the kids by the cartoon. Kids tried their very hardest to walk, and not jump, and not squeal--but just couldn't contain their excitement at the flushing toilets and the size of the room and the thrill of being there. As we dished out the simple soup, the kids played "Who wants my cracker?" and delighted in being able to give something away--and get it back--and give it away again. 

And don't get me wrong. I am not comparing myself or my husband to Jesus. Not even a little. The fact is, I spent a big part of this Christmas feeling grinchy and grouchy and whiney that it was too full. 

But then, I kinda "got it". Even though Jesus was so worn out by the crowds, even when they left without saying "thank you", even when they followed Him and listened to Him and didn't hear what He was saying, even when he really needed a break and just a little bit of time away from the crush of people--

Matthew 9:36

When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they were confused and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.

See, for just a minute, I started to "get it". That God sent His Son because He loved us. And that Jesus puts up with me because of the compassion He has for me, and perhaps it is at its utmost when I am helpless and empty and so obviously without ability to "be good" on my own.  

Galatians 6:8-10

8 Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. 9 So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. 10 Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith.

Ephesians 3:19

May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

Wishing each of you a very full and overflowing Christmas this year, and every year. And may 2014 be full to the very brim.

Luke 6:38

Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.”