Well--when we got up this morning the plan was to clean house for holiday company. By 10:30 we were realizing that all the things we'd been listing on the "do pretty soon" list had become the "NOW!" list. In just 3 days we'll need to have everything that's going on this container to Nicaragua loaded up and ready to go. So today between mopping, laundry, and cleaning up one knocked over Christmas tree-- I packed the first 2 boxes. All I could think over and over was, "Already?!?" There's no doubt to me that only God could arrange this so quickly.
It was strange sitting in the kitchen floor with a half full plastic tote trying to figure out what else should go in. I confess--I am a kitchen gadget sucker. Some people like to buy shoes--I love perfectly round bowls, and different weights of wooden spoons. It's pretty ridiculous: we seriously have 6 ice cream scoops! But as I sat there thinking, "So what do I need?" The list was so small. It was such a revelation. Not intellectually. I obviously know in my brain that we have lots and lots of "stuff" that we can certainly do just fine without. But the experience of it--of not being able to find enough "stuff" to fill a small box among the mountain of objects I own--that I needed---that sensation was remarkable.
The last thing I want to do is make some pithy,self-righteous "holidays aren't supposed to be about shopping" plea. I like opening presents and watching people open presents. Shoot--in my family Mom used to wrap up the toilet paper, just so there were more things to open. (and after waiting for that package all morning--it was a big favorite of all!) No part of me is putting down the fun of gift giving. It's just that I'm really struck right now with the dissonance between the voices around me longing to be done with their shopping tasks--and my own wish to be done with the dispersal of all these objects around me. I feel really separate from that world right now. I hope I can carry with me a lesson from this that is deeper than merely tempering my shopping list.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Off Hand Remarks
When we traveled to Nicaragua in October we assumed it was a one time trip. Our goal was simply to finish what Jonathan attempted the previous April. It's always those chance "comments in passing" that lead down unexpected paths.
A chance comment is what led to Sight For Sore Eyes Foundation in the first place. A chance comment began what would become the Riverside Resource Center and Church. A passing comment resulted in Jonathan joining Ft.Worth Christian's spring break trip to Jinotega, and thus our return 6 months later. And a seemingly off-hand remark resulted in our upcoming move to live and work in Nicaragua full time.
But I suppose God has always delighted in communicating in seemingly random ways: fire-y shrubbery, and mouthy donkeys, and what not.
Our October trip's mission was to deliver an autorefractor (optical equipment) and train workers from Mision Para Cristo to administer the types of recycled eye-glass distribution campaigns that we have conducted here and in Mexico. It was a lovely work week--smooth and rewarding. Jonathan commented as we stood looking out the window at the city below--"Well, there's nothing else for us to do here--I guess we won't be back." A few hours later Benny is casually commenting that we "aughta just move here." By that night we are actually thinking about it. Before October ends, we've committed that IF we raise the funds and IF we can arrange it and IF volunteers rise up to take care of the work here in Texas we'll actually make the move.
So here it is, merely a month and a half later and God has left us with no more IFs.
Like so many times before--God obviously had a path prepared for us--a plan we could never have orchestrated so smoothly and quickly. How many times must I re-learn this lesson? When my plans are failing, perhaps it is because they are mine and not His. When I stop discounting those comments I wasn't planning on hearing I finally receive that "burning-bush-neon-sign-clarity I have longed for.
"Speak, Lord, Your servant is listening." 1Samuel 3:10
A chance comment is what led to Sight For Sore Eyes Foundation in the first place. A chance comment began what would become the Riverside Resource Center and Church. A passing comment resulted in Jonathan joining Ft.Worth Christian's spring break trip to Jinotega, and thus our return 6 months later. And a seemingly off-hand remark resulted in our upcoming move to live and work in Nicaragua full time.
But I suppose God has always delighted in communicating in seemingly random ways: fire-y shrubbery, and mouthy donkeys, and what not.
Our October trip's mission was to deliver an autorefractor (optical equipment) and train workers from Mision Para Cristo to administer the types of recycled eye-glass distribution campaigns that we have conducted here and in Mexico. It was a lovely work week--smooth and rewarding. Jonathan commented as we stood looking out the window at the city below--"Well, there's nothing else for us to do here--I guess we won't be back." A few hours later Benny is casually commenting that we "aughta just move here." By that night we are actually thinking about it. Before October ends, we've committed that IF we raise the funds and IF we can arrange it and IF volunteers rise up to take care of the work here in Texas we'll actually make the move.
So here it is, merely a month and a half later and God has left us with no more IFs.
Like so many times before--God obviously had a path prepared for us--a plan we could never have orchestrated so smoothly and quickly. How many times must I re-learn this lesson? When my plans are failing, perhaps it is because they are mine and not His. When I stop discounting those comments I wasn't planning on hearing I finally receive that "burning-bush-neon-sign-clarity I have longed for.
"Speak, Lord, Your servant is listening." 1Samuel 3:10
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